How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
