And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
