Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
