he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
