I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
