Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
i think my cat just said my name.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize