My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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