batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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