11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
