I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
This house was built for laser tag.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
