She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
