Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
