i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You can't just leave with hair like that
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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