I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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