yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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