New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
