Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
