woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
