What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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