that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
