She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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