talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
