i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just threw up on my dentist
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
