it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
