You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I have aggressive nipples.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
