Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
