Whod you bang
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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