Having a random hookup so left but love u
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
