Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
