her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
