Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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