i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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