Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
