She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
