Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
