Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
