Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
