She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
