Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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