So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
