Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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