6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
im having a threesome with these popsicles
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
it was like eating out sand paper
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
