You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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