Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
