therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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