Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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