I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Swine flu. Run for my life!
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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