Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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