i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
