Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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