I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I can't put those talents on a resume
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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