I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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