I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize