Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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