If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
