She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
