i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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