They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
