I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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