i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Randomize
