you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
How's work?
Spinning.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Floor bacon is actually really good
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
