We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
me + whiskey = a bad person
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