i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
