entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
