Please, let me fuck your mom
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
we should paint friendship bongs
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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