I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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